a place of support for targets

of educator sexual misconduct

Content/Trigger Warning: this page includes detailed information about the experience of being groomed and of sexual abuse, including criminal sexual abuse of minors by a person in a position of authority. This can be a lot to take in, and feel very heavy. Read as much as you are comfortable, and take a break if it becomes too much.

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-4673

Online Chat Hotline: online.rainn.org

Resources for Targets of Educator Sexual Misconduct for navigating the reporting process

First things first: why use the term “target?” Why not say “victim” or “survivor?”

Enduring and healing from trauma is a profoundly personal experience. Each person’s circumstances, beliefs, process, and trajectory is different. The most important thing is that you use the term that best resonates with YOU. 

Dr. Charol Shakeshaft is one of the leading researchers on educator sexual misconduct in the United States. In her 2004 report, she states “‘Target’ is a reminder that someone other than the student is responsible for the act of sexual abuse.” In the Elephant Alliance, we agree. The term “target” also accurately depicts the predatory nature of the educator. They are in a position of societal trust and authority. Their access to victims is provided to them through their duties as a teacher. They consider all their students and then target specific ones for abuse. 

The experience of people targeted by teachers can be very different than victims of other types of sexual abuse.

Although there ARE instances of forceful or violent abuse, the vast majority are not. Abusive educators use an elaborate grooming process with the goal of compliance. They make the student feel loved and become the center of their universe. This not only makes the student less likely to say “no,” it can also create a deep loyalty that makes it nearly impossible to come forward and talk about the abuse. In fact, law enforcement sometimes refer to the targets of educator sexual misconduct as compliant victims.

Being groomed by a teacher can be incredibly confusing. Many people don’t realize what happened to them was sexual abuse until years later. If you had a relationship with a teacher, but it doesn’t feel like abuse- or you aren’t sure what happened- the information here might help you find clarity.

Being targeted by a teacher can be incredibly isolating.

It means keeping a secret, sometimes for years. It can feel like leading a double life. Targets are often threatened not to tell anyone. And again, these threats are not usually “typical” threats of force or violence. More likely, these threats look like “If you tell, no one will believe you.” “If you tell, I will lose my job.” “If you tell, my life will be ruined.” “If you tell, everyone is going to think you’re a homewrecker.” “If you tell, no one will understand.” 

Those threats are real. 

Sometimes, it really does feel like no one understands. 

Please know this:

You are not alone.

The unfortunate truth is this happens everywhere. A survey discovered nearly 1 in 10 students received unwanted sexual attention from a school employee by the time they graduated high school. That means 5.7 million people in the United States are navigating this experience. And we know that number is likely much higher in reality, because sexual abuse is the most underreported crime. 

You can heal from this.

One of the first obstacles when it comes to healing is that people who are targeted by abusive teachers usually do not immediately relate to “mainstream” sexual abuse terminology. For example, if a target doesn’t remember their experience as violently abusive, they may reject the term “sexual abuse” and live in denial of their reality for years. All the while, of course, suffering from the very real consequences of sexual abuse.

It can be devastating to realize what once was believed to be a special first relationship was actually manipulation and abuse.

In order to understand why this denial is so common, we have to understand the intense grooming process of predatory teachers.

Navigating being groomed or abused by a teacher is not easy. It’s complicated. It can take years. It’s not a linear path, and there’s no instruction manual. 

Wherever you are in your healing process, you might consider these important steps:

  • Finding a licensed therapist who you trust can be one of the most beneficial steps you take, but it’s easier said than done. This is especially true if you are suffering from depression or other PTSD symptoms. Click here for tips on finding a therapist.

  • Talking about your experiences with someone who knows what you are going through can be a unique and very valuable experience.

  • Though this is not true for every person, some people find comfort in researching what happened to them. The sometimes over-used phrase “it’s not your fault” can be difficult to relate to, at first. The more you learn about the prepubescent and adolescent brain, the more you learn about how formulaic the grooming process is, the more you discover how manipulative predatory teachers can be… you just might prove to yourself that it wasn’t your fault after all.

The intensity of the grooming process also explains why targets of educator sexual abuse do NOT usually come forward with allegations themselves. It’s much more likely for a friend of the target to report, or perhaps a parent or other adult. If a target does come forward themselves, it is often many years after the abuse took place. This is called a “delayed disclosure.” Studies have shown that the closer the relationship between the abuser and the target, the longer the delay.

Reporting sexual abuse is extremely difficult. It can feel impossible.

We have resources to help you navigate the process, but it is a very personal decision. It is a decision that you are in control of. For some people, reporting their abuse and seeking justice is the ultimate step in their healing process. For others, reporting their abuse and seeking justice is their worst nightmare.

You have the support of The Elephant Alliance.

We hope this collection of resources will be helpful to you. Please do not hesitate to reach out to us directly.